Story: Chapter 1: What I Couldn't Feel or Say...[Introduction]

Once, Twice, Too Many...
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Summary: This story is about a girl who had multiple minor crushes before, and is very anti-social. Until near the time Winter begins, she is asked out by a boy who she met before during summer vacation. It was a miracle for her to have her first "boyfriend", but she was an immature girl. She carried a long-distance relationship with her new found love. High School was rough for her since she didn't know what to do and what to say. Even though she has a "boyfriend" she was a weak girl, trapped and influenced by Cupid's smallest arrow, being in love temporarily to unknown people. It was hard for her to resist, after all, she was weak hearted. Her "lover" was no where near her, somewhere else...
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The rest of the story will be told in the girl's point of view:

Ugh...
This is...
I can't take all of this pressure...
Can't take all of this so called "love"
It's horrifying, dramatic, and most of all
Disgusting...

Sure I'm currently "dating" someone who I hold deeply in my heart,
But...
It feels like I'm missing something...
More love?

I'm so selfish...
The worst girl ever
I can't even make friends, and judge people after a glance,
No one likes me,
I fall in love easily,
A weak good-for-nothing,
And mostly an idiot...
How is it possible that someone like him like someone revolting like me?
I just don't get it....

Girl's Point of View "talking" to the boy:

A few days have passed,
Talking to you, cherishing you, keeping myself close to you...
"How come it's so hard to love you dearly?"
"Is it because of my shy self?"
"Am I going to degrade myself from you?"
I felt like crying... from all of this tension
Is it really tension at all?
Why are all of these questions coming up as another one goes away?

But...
At least I know one thing,
You'll always be there for me
Won't you?

I've always thought that I would be able to only think of you
But I'm still weak at heart
I'm disgusting, aren't I?
I have a new crush now,
A boy who I've met in Elementary,
Hopefully it's minor...

What will happen next?
Will I become my weak hearted self and do something that I'll regret later?
That must be it....
But I'll be strong and try to keep you close

It's almost Christmas,
What should I say to you on the day to come?
"Merry Christmas"? No, too cliche...
"I wish you a very merry Christmas"? Not so much a good idea...
"I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and I love you"? No... Definitely not...! Too embarrassing...
It's just so hard to think of what to say...
I couldn't bring myself to say it,
"I love you" was what I couldn't bring myself to say...

Christmas arrived...
I haven't got a clue of what to say to you...
All I could do was just say "hi"
But I know it's not enough for you,
You want to hear more from me,
Feel more love from me...
I shattered in fear when I had the chance to speak to you
Frightened... no it was more like love shy,
"Merry Christmas to you! ^^"
Was all I aimed you...
Waiting for your response in a nerve wrecking way...
You aimed me back saying,
"Merry Christmas to you, too sweetie! ^^ *hugs*"
I wasn't shocked nor surprised,
You were too nice for your own good...
You never asked for anything more in return when talking to me,
Never did...
I just... I'm just.... a spoiled good-for-nothing...

To Be Continued...
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a/n: Well that's about it for this first chapter! ^^ Hope you[the reader] enjoyed this! And if you want to know the girl's name or any other character's name that appears in the story, that's not possible! ^^ This story is for those who can relate to it, just basically love romance, or for those creative people who like to think up of names! PLEASE DO NOT steal from me because this is all of my material. I thought up of this story[plot, story line, whatever :P] and title. It is meant for me to express things or type down stories that I've made up but is too lazy to draw it in manga form...!